Douleur Exquise

Now dont think kinky.....

Every month I have to go through a lot of pain. The pain of beautifying myself, the pain of getting my eyebrows done, my hands waxed etc. The result after that pain is a big WOW! I look great I feel fab. It truly is equisite.

I think life itself is an equisite pain, You must feel sorrow to experience joy, feel sad to understand happiness, have bad days to enjoy the good days.

Pain right from birth to death, struggle to breathe our first breath and struggle to as we try to gasp our never know last breath.


There is a saying that darkness is just the absence of light, cold the absence of heat and so Pain is the absence of ????????????????

When I see beauty natural or man made, the question that arises how much pain was involved????? Pain of shoots breaking out of the seeds, caterpillars pushing open their cocoons, babies animals trying to break out of their shells.

The pain people have to go through to make something, frustration,rejection, apprehension,isolation.

Pain=Beauty


P.S- Which is more painful pain of loss or pain of gain?

me me

OH my goodness, I just read all my previous posts, I used to write such mad stuff, and now am all like serious and intellectual. My boss told me I am more of an intellect than I am street smart. I'm wondering whether I should chance that statement with my family, I dont know whether I'll be handing over one more reason to tease me or they'll be really proud. Pretty sure they will so former and not latter. My sis says I'm street smart-I think I shall believe her (this would be the 14th time in 22yrs).

I just stuck loads of funny stuff on my pin board. Not appreciated by anyone,ME not happy.

My friends have started to get married. Societal Pressure HUH!!!!!!!!


My office is situated funnily, In front of my window, I can see rain drops on the glasspane. But on the horizon, its all sunshine. What is nature trying to tell me??? I bring as many blessings as the rain that falls.... (dats a nice interpretation-I love the way my brain works)......Therefore thats what it means.

Previous Life

I just graduated from college. My days of being a registered student are over. My big boohoo off late.

Being an adult is really boring, with all the responsibility talk and getting older blah. I never wanted to grow up, turning 17 was painful, 18 was depressing and now maybe I have come to terms with the fact that I have to grow old, along with everyone else and turn 23 after 6 months.
Fear of aging is something like death and taxes you are sure you are going to feel it one day.

I also had to let go of loads of friends over the weekend and over many years. Its like I just went through an Autumn of Friendship, where I am losing most of the friends that have grown on me over the past years. I think winter's setting in. I wonder when spring will arrive.

I don't know whether its parody or irony that seasons and time make and break, bring together and pull apart,heal and wound. To love and hate them again is subjective to what you have experienced with these twins of life.I don't know whether my winter will be harsh, my spring be bountiful. Isn't that why we never sometimes want to let go of our good past, because we don't know whether the memories of the past will sustain us through out a future winter of an unknown duration.

Sometimes memories, reality and dreams get mixed up and I dont know whether the life I lived was a dream or a distant memory. Its hard to imagine that this time some time back I was leading a very different life.


My previous life as a student was perfect. My present life as a cub in the jungle who is trying to find her feet. I hope my after (right now) life will be................

A Choice-ist

Choices........ if we have none we are unhappy and if we have too many then we are unhappy again. Life is all about the choices we make. Life's payback is also on the choices we make. Here's a situation, I make a wrong choice and then get punished for it immediately my question is if I hadn't made the wrong choice and the outcome was the same then does making the right or the wrong choice play a significant role. The wrong choice would make me believe its payback for doing wrong,but what if I had nothing wrong then what would I have blamed my punishment on.

If rewards were given out for the choices we made then will I be punished for one big wrong choice and will all my other small right choices be over looked and vice versa. How do we ever know whether what happens to us is because of the choices we make.. What scale shall I use to measure whether the choice I have made are right or wrong, should I use time, circumstances or people, what is the best tool to see whether what I have chosen is the right choice?If you sow is what you reap, then everything you do is sowing and everything that happens to you is reaping??? Do laws of nature apply to the laws of life? If I sow wheat and get rice, should I be grateful or angry. If I plant mangoes and get mustard, is life/nature trying to tell me is that the small things in life are those that will just have to fulfill me or telling me, its all I deserve and vice versa.When I see the world and all its wickedness, 5 yr olds getting raped and tens of thousands in Zimbabwe getting slaughtered, then one can never apply the sowing and reaping philosophy to them . No one could have sown such bad seeds for evil like that to be reaped.

Maybe we can undo sowing and save harvest, if we know what we have planted is bad. When it comes to our lives, relationships,society and planet, maybe if we just uproot the evil and toil from the very beginning and plant love, kindness, forgiveness, mercy, empathy and morals. We may just be able to save ourselves from a bad harvest of dead lives, rotten relationships, degrading society and a dying planet.

iBliss

As we swish by the knowledge era, where everything you want to know about anything, past, present or otherwise are available. It's not acceptable to be ignorant. Ignorance no longer equals bliss, it equals complete stupidity.

The above average person uses only 10% of their brain, so the rest 90% is waiting for eternity to be resurrected. The question arises Do we need know so much? Does knowing so much increase happiness? How much is too much and how much is too less? What information is good for us and what is bad? Does knowing everything mean everything?
When you stop learning you stop growing!!! What is it that we have to learn to grow?

Ignorance maybe pardoned if say for example you were in Australia and didn't know it is illegal to wear hot pink pants after midday Sunday (I am not making this up). Thats okay.... its not normal to by heart every country's constitution... unless of course you lack a life!!!!

Not knowing something a billion people are into is just sadness, like fighting global warming, talking about the la test phone or straining their voices for Darfur.

Or worse is that lame excuse.."Oh am not savvy enough or I don't have time or I'm not into it" its all translation for I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!!!!!!!


People who refuse to take a look beyond their surgically perfect nose should be all brought together and sent to a different planet. There where they truly only have to care about their own well being.

Technology has made our lives absolutely blissful.... we have become easier to reach but we refuse to reach.I think its made us so blissful that now we have the choice to but we don't make the choice to.....

Seasons and thinking

Monsoon is my favorite season, I love the big dark Grey clouds that drift by, it makes me feel like the whole world is at peace, everything is perfect. Unlike summer where the sun burns mercilessly upon the earth, and everybody profusing with sweat and the heat just tires you out.The other reason I like monsoon is that my hair falls less and that's wonderful, cos then people can stop cursing me for my poker straight hair getting scattered all over the place.


Here's a thought if we can transfer blood,kidneys, heart and etc etc from one person to another then why cant we transfer fat from one person to another. Why cant scientists come up with something where human fat can be used? Won't it solve most hunger issues? Imagine donating fat so that the fat u have donated helps save someone Else's life isn't that awesome. To think we may never have to struggle to lose weight ever again.........

Long Long time

Months have gone by without me writing whats going on with me. I made the excuse of not feeling funny. I wrote a lot of short bits which I thought I would post, but they are so full of my self inflicted bitterness and thankfully never did post them. In my chat window my status says that I am at crossroads. After a very long wait at that junction I'm happy to inform you that I have chosen a path. I was first wondering why but then as I went along the road, I saw that the road was comfortable.............. I can live with comfort.

Summing up what happened over the past something months, around the world there were a couple of bombings here and there, Tibetans and non Tibetans rioted and then everyone forgot about whatever they were rioting for. Nature of course in the news (imagine if I had left her out), she belted out a couple of tornadoes, cyclones, earthquakes...cant tell which one caused more damage....Then there was Obama vs Hillary...now its Obama vs Mcain the whole world wishes that the stupid election would just get over.

Feeling super kicked cos "I just got paid, Friday night"-(dats an N'sync song for all those who don't know what all their fab lyrics). Major financial planning going on in my head. I'm planning my money like am earning Warren Buffet's pay package.The weekend that passed by was weird I got calls that made me come to crossroads again. This got me thinking..

Aren't/Are we always at crossroads????