There have been two Maria’s in my life and both have played a significant and memorable role in my spiritual life. They have taught me that God will send you a person in your season of need and send them away when the season ends.
For the First Maria, she was in my class during my B.com days and in the beginning we were hi-bye friends. It was only in my second year that I found out that Maria was a born-again believer. I was so happy, finally someone here I can talk to about spiritual stuff and godly stuff. We became friends and talked mostly about how to get out of class after giving attendance. And we thought faboosh plans all of which may I state has worked. With right tactic with the right teacher, getting out of class with attendance is not easy the first time, but on your fourth attempt it’s a habit and any other outlandish behavior (like sitting thru the full class) became absurd.
We decided that we would meet every day and have a prayer time, which we did do and it was awesome. I understood then how important fellowship is and with someone your age going through the same things!!!! Wow total blessing!!! Suddenly new insights on how to handle teenage life, without completely losing it. She became such a blessing to me.
I remember there was a time that my mom and I fought every single day mostly before I left for college. I used to get so upset, I was actually more angry and I refused to apologize because at 18 you are always right! Right? So one day I told her that my mom and I always fighting and I do not know how to handle this constant battle we are having. I will never forget what she said…. “Just say sorry… even if you are right, just say sorry. Things will get better on their own by just saying sorry”.
I learnt then that saying sorry was truly a very hard word. Some people let bygones be bygones, without any apology given and taken. When that is done, there is a cave dug out with the memory of the incident. But with sorry, that cave gets shaved off .My mother and I had a much better relationship then on. She thinks it was gradual, as we had spent many years together. But I know it was from my time in B.com when I learnt to say SORRY.
Now a days I keep a yelling quota for my mother, she can yell only a certain amount every day. After that its un-acceptable behavior. My mother thinks that is very amusing and starts laughing when I say “ok, mom enough, your quota for the day is over” . But I never am joking about it. I learnt from this behavioral quota with my mother, that when you give people space to be human i.e to be angry, irritated, depressed, whiny, etc. Your tolerance levels actually increase and you will realize when you are doing it as well. Beyond their quota you cut them cold turkey. Then they also realize that too much of such behaviors is more than a person can take.
Giving people space to be themselves also helps us understand that, friends and family aren’t perfect, they have their off days. There are days they don’t want to be on their own which does not translate to they don’t want to be your friend or they are upset with you. Relationships tend to strengthen when you give the other person space to be themselves or have a bad day, without you making them feel worse about their already rotten day.
My Second encounter with a Maria, was so led by god. The first time we had decided to meet, I was actually going to ditch her, as my friend Sarah was going to get engaged, and I was dying to see her. But something kept nudging me and nudging me, till I decided to go see Maria.
Thank god I did, as she hadn’t seen my previous messages of cancelling and was completely confused about whether we were meeting or not and was waiting at our pre-destined place.
I started speaking to her and realized that she was a brand new believer. I thought she knew Christ for awhile. But she is brand new in the Lord, she’s just a baby in Christ.
Then my mind went into “panic mode” and this was what streamed through my head,
“everything I say to her will have major affects on her spiritual life”.
“I must say awesome things!!! But what?? I don’t know anything!!!!!
(Note to self:Why don’t I study the bible more? Must study the Bible more)
“God what am I to say to her. Forgive me in advance for messing up”
“Ok my mouth is opening now, may loads of sense come out of it”
An hour later of… believe it or not of BOTH of us talking, I realized that it what I was saying was coming from the Holy Spirit. I could feel it, cos there was no way such amazing intelligent, spiritual stuff came out of my mind.(See God takes over, so you won’t screw it up for everybody)
This is was the First time I have ever felt the Holy spirit take over and do the talking. Now I understand what they mean by led by the spirit. Now I get it.
I think she was encouraged by what I said, because she seemed kinda relieved after talking to me.
I learnt from that lesson that never ever ever tell a new believer that narrow road is hard. A lesson that is better self learnt. Always encourage them. (I remember telling my new believer friend Evelyn how much she had grown in the Lord in a short time, that completely made her enthused in her want for growth).
Over the months when Maria was with me, I learnt from her that it is so important to encourage believers in their growth for the Lord. It’s so essential that you let them know that God loves you even more for trying to be the best you can through him. And you must tell them that God is not standing with a ruler ready to spank you, the minute you stumble.
Again God reinforced the importance of Fellowship. You may not need the encouragement, but there will be someone who needs it from you. Because you have been in that pit before and you need to stretch your hand out and help them up.
Both the Maria’s seasons have finished in my life. Only walking on my road will tell me whether I will cross paths with them again.
I know I have social networking sites to connect all of us. But meeting a believer in the virtual world and in the real world makes a world of a difference.
Last thing I heard from my college Maria was that she was ready to be a Mama and from my other Maria, she is out there growing beautifully in the Lord.
