Over the past few months I realised that I am starting to losing my innocence. I had beliefs that people who had good corporate values had good family values as well. That once your married all your troubles are over. Friendships last forever. Not everyone has major drama happening in their lives. People care. People's mind sets have moved from the 1850s into the 2000s.Rich people dont cheat other rich people. You can trust people.
Well obvi from all the above that it all came crashing down on me. Every time one of the above mentioned situations occurred I was lost for words, It was a weird emotion of shock and nothingness at the same time. The shock is not that I didnt know that these things happen, the shock is that I thought I would always be surrounded by people who had Zero drama in their lives. So when shit happened to a person who is so close to me. I didnt know what to do except....... Just to........ Shut up and listen.
Where are those happy days they seem so innocent and behind. Those happy days of carefree, not a care in the world days. Now its job(boss-her/his madness,moodiness, whims), colleagues (their baggages, attitudes,jokes(which hardly makes your mouth twitch),we have to pretend to care, we are forced to listen), boyfriends/husband (I have no personal experience, but from observations its all the he said-she said drama),
Remember school and college, where whatever your superior said got lost half way between her/his mouth and your brain. Where we didnt have to put up with gossip mongers, two faced rascals, those that did bad things and those that were just absolutely weird, Now its all smiles and "oh really ha ha ha ha" when what really thinking is "I really dont give a shit."
For me now everyone is a potential backstabber. Which means that maybe I am also a potential backstabber, all I ask of myself is that I do it unknowingly than knowingly. The more I grow up the more aware of my own craftiness my own potential evil. Maybe thats why for many nights I dreamt of children, one running behind one, the other time singing to it, the other time feeding it. So I googled it and found out that sub-conscientiously I am scared of losing my innocence and free spirit.
Pondering over this for days and days on end.Till a line from the good Lord saved me.
"Be wise as serpents AND as INNOCENT as doves"
Well obvi from all the above that it all came crashing down on me. Every time one of the above mentioned situations occurred I was lost for words, It was a weird emotion of shock and nothingness at the same time. The shock is not that I didnt know that these things happen, the shock is that I thought I would always be surrounded by people who had Zero drama in their lives. So when shit happened to a person who is so close to me. I didnt know what to do except....... Just to........ Shut up and listen.
Where are those happy days they seem so innocent and behind. Those happy days of carefree, not a care in the world days. Now its job(boss-her/his madness,moodiness, whims), colleagues (their baggages, attitudes,jokes(which hardly makes your mouth twitch),we have to pretend to care, we are forced to listen), boyfriends/husband (I have no personal experience, but from observations its all the he said-she said drama),
Remember school and college, where whatever your superior said got lost half way between her/his mouth and your brain. Where we didnt have to put up with gossip mongers, two faced rascals, those that did bad things and those that were just absolutely weird, Now its all smiles and "oh really ha ha ha ha" when what really thinking is "I really dont give a shit."
For me now everyone is a potential backstabber. Which means that maybe I am also a potential backstabber, all I ask of myself is that I do it unknowingly than knowingly. The more I grow up the more aware of my own craftiness my own potential evil. Maybe thats why for many nights I dreamt of children, one running behind one, the other time singing to it, the other time feeding it. So I googled it and found out that sub-conscientiously I am scared of losing my innocence and free spirit.
Pondering over this for days and days on end.Till a line from the good Lord saved me.
"Be wise as serpents AND as INNOCENT as doves"
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