Guard

I have a line written on my pin up board which says "There is folly in many words", I put it up after hearing my dad lecture my sister on all the drama that she had been causing(her story long story.. not now). I thought I about that line and thought how apt that line is for me, I sometimes wear my heart on my sleeve, which is stupid as in my head I keep thinking that I have my guards up. But the fact is that unknowingly I say something and as soon as I say it, I think "Shit!!!did I just give a bit of heart away?" and regret follows and every time something like that happens all I do is hope and pray that what I let out wont come back to spear me.

How does one know who to trust? what to trust them with, and how much to trust them with, your heart and your life.

I used to write all my emotions on a piece of paper, whether I was really happy or sad or felt very driven, after writing, I suddenly felt a strong sense of bond with that piece of paper, I would never want to let it go as I would have written my heart on it. Time passes and the paper is tossed into other piles of paper into some file. At some later point when I find it, a healing memory comes over me. It struck me that if I can feel so attached to a paper, then how much more a person, if I let my guard down and give my heart away, and if that person throws it back at my face, oh man imagine the pain. Thankfully that hasnt happened yet. But a lil bits of who I am and what are my heart's desires have been let out.

Two statements floating in my head " Everyone is a potential Backstabber" and "There is folly in many words"

I think.......... No actually............ I KNOW............ that.........

Now!!!!! its mouth shut and guards up.