Biblical Family

Last week my dad asked my mother and me , to tell him a good example of a family from the bible. After our two minute mental search through the bible, we found that there were no perfect families in the bible. Its strange isnt it.... a book that is so full of wisdom and has some words of encouragement for every situation in life, that one could possibly think off, has not added an example of "a perfect family".

Pondered this thought over some days and realised that, maybe god didnt put an example of a perfect family as there isnt any. Maybe in all his infinite wisdom knew that, its not possible. Maybe he knew that as individuals we fall and fail so many times, that if there was a family comparison, we would have crumbled and crumpled under that pressure.

We have to compare our lives with Jesus, and falling short would be an understatement of enormous magnitude. But yet we run the race and fight the good fight. We are to put the yoke of guilt, shame, sin onto the cross, but we seldom do it fully, we always keep a little of all of that within us, so that we dont feel guilty about not feeling guilty. This slows us down, frustrates us, and we end up putting alot of pressure on ourselves. Now all that, we feel when we fall short of the glory as Individuals, imagine if we knew we failed as a family, .

As a family what would define failure (maybe divorce, but its the failure of marriage/relationship.. I dont know) is it a kid rebelling?kid marrying a person from another caste, creed, country??? not listening to parents??? what constitutes a failed family? Who decides whether the family is a success or a failure??Non-doting parents??? Parents who are semi-jailers???

Random thoughts on these...

Its amazing that the bible talks about curses and blessings going to be passed on from generation to generation.Eve's disobedience and Abraham's mistake.


Families are punished and families are blessed in the bible.

Individuals were more focused on than families (David, Abraham, Joseph, Moses, Ruth, Esther)

But god said Be fruitful and multiply, have a companion.......

Special chapter on how to raise a family is not there

But how to treat Husband, wife, child are stated....


Thats what I love about my god, it is that he has given freedom to raise a family as we like, with simple adherence to rules like "love her/him" "dont anger child" "child honor parents", in such simplicity he's put boundary lines as well as immense space to raise a family,


My god, is beyond words... only he can come up with concepts such as grace, mercy... love and family.... Think about it, without such concepts... what would our world be like. To think the creator has all of it and we have barely ventured or fathomed its awesomeness.

Spotted: Romance and Me

I did I did.... I did spot romance not once but twice on the same day in less than 4 hours... barf!!!!.. ok so am barfing out of jealousy.....How do these people met their significant other??? Is there some place.. that I dont know about... some class I was supposed to take but didnt.......

It was such a paradoxical situation... I wanted them to tell me more, about their romance... what he said- she said, what he did- what she did.....How they waited for each other... how they wanted each other and at the same time, I felt like saying "Shut it, already, we know that you've got someone to love you... one more line and it will be bragging"

As I trudged back home I thought about all the things I wanted... correction.. needed....

In relationships, I have heard that compromising is the biggest thing you have to do. My question/s is or are what do you compromise? How much do you compromise ? Is there anything known as too much compromise? Is everything that you gain, worth the compromise?Why am I compromising? Is compromising in dutch or in turns.. if I compromise for this will you compromise for the next?

In the middle of the road, a voice echoed in my head "Remember 5 condition". Then the above questions came with a note saying refer to "5 conditions". My mind started reeling with the coulda, woulda shouldas..............

Should I------- compromise or set lower standards?

Could I ?

Would I?

Then my dear universe, I realised I couldnt........ I wont for too long even if I did................... and dear universe.... please dont let me think I should.


xoxoxoxo
sang

I'm someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, time consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love.

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return

'I'm... just a girl, standing in ''front of a boy, asking him to love her.''

Love Stoned

Love is a many splendored thing. My entire monday morning has flown by with this sentence running through my brain. Love is a many splendored thing. Love is a many splendored thing. Splendor, a word I havent heard in a very long time and today I am saying it over and over again. Splendor. Splendor. I have also been chanting love love.... I think in times to come dear universe, you will be receiving a lot of posts about love and romance.

Since I have kept my eyes open for love and romance. I have found it. Not just in movies and books. But around me. I saw my grandmother, who in her younger years was romanced, by my grandfather. Years after his death she met another man and in their old age, still have love. Both sitting endlessly for a doctor's appointment and like wise. Seeing my parents, being all silly and playful , literally running around the house. Seems a little immature, but also seems very loving... and just ......being so happy. Even my generation, I saw a friend, who would do anything for his girl, she just has to pout or screw up her forehead and he's soft putty in her hands.

The thing about love is, it doesnt have to be grand gestures, it doesnt have to be flying across the Atlantic ocean or chasing behind a taxi or petal laced path. Like life, in love maybe its the small things. I say this after lots of research and zero experience. That love does exist, in real life, people have loved someone their entire lives and still experience the thrills of it even after decades and decades of it later. When they were asked what they love about their partner. None of it was.. oh we went on a carriage ride in a moonlit night, or she made the most beautiful candlelight dinner, which was... yada yada.............. They love and remember .. things like, 'when she sits next to me and falls asleep', that makes me feel like such a man... or the way she itemizes everything on the shelf. The way he has to coffee before doing anything else, when she smiled ... and even now when she smiles..their are butterflies in my stomach. All these were after decades of being in love.

Grand gestures are great, but its the many a small and splendored things.............. Oh universe, I sound completely love sick, and the cupid hasnt even struck. I understand why people go looking for love. Because its a beautiful thing, its like a scenic picture, you know its beautiful. But it'll only be truly breath taking when you are actually there. When you are actually at that place. I know love will be absolutely amazing.


Universe....... am I setting myself up for massive disappointment? or am I just being normal and waiting for that many splendored thing?


xxx
Sang

Dreamer

Yesterday I watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory after a very long time. In the movie Gene Wylder sings the lines,

There is no ,Life I know
To compare with Pure imagination
Living there ,You'll be free
If you truly wish to be

If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Wanta change the world?
There's nothing
To it


I understood then that very few people will ever understand those lines. Those people are Dreamers, people wish to be dreamers, those who are true dreamers never tell everyone that they are.... or sometimes they never tell at all. Its a secret life in your head. No one can judge you, arrest you, hate you love you or pack you off to a room with a straight jacket.

Dreamers know reality and they definitely know dreams, they never confuse one with the other, that is why you can never find out whose a real dreamer and who is not.


Dreamers live a hundred lives in their heads. They have a secret passage way into it. Its like a secret society which does not exist. A dreamer will never ever share their dreams or their thoughts, as its direct route into their soul.

You can never become a dreamer, you are born a dreamer, these people have never been analyzed by shrinks cos they have never let their dreams out. They can dream a whole day, and go to sleep, with a day very well spent.


Some give dreamers flak, saying that this world is reality and not living it makes you foolish. You know what, Dreamers dont care. They know who they are and what they want. They probably have a better understanding of life than those who have never let their imagination show them the beauty of world.

If one ever comes across a dreamer, tread carefully, you'll either be wary of them or fall in fascination with them and spend the rest of your life trying to figure them out.


We are the music makers... and we are the dreamers of dreams.
Willy Wonka


“I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions to be realized, than lord among those without dreams and desires.”
Kahlil Gibran

Optimist: Day-dreamer more elegantly spelled- Mark Twain

“This whole creation is essentially subjective, and the dream is the theater where the dreamer is at once: scene, actor, prompter, stage manager, author, audience, and critic.”-Carl Gustav Jung


We are such stuff that dreams are made off- (Shakespeare)

Sang
xoxoxoxo

Unmistakable

I had actually forgotten about my baby.... my blog........I realized that nothing had really inspired me for some time to write. Then suddenly it came to me, my inspiration. Romance. I know there have been innumerable number of authors, poets, song writers who write about this subject and I wondered why. Now at 23 years, 8 months and one day. I figured it out. Its because its the most amazing thing. Its fascinating. Thinking about it is so exuberating. I have to confess that I have never experienced it. I have never had someone, so having couple romance has been only a fantasy more than an actual experience.

So why am I writing about Romance, something I haven't even experienced. Why is it an inspiration? The reason is that dreaming of it is the inspiration. After having to listen to a friend struggling for a divorce and another not appreciating inter-continental romance. I realised that as much as I love being cynical and judgmental. I was a romantic at heart.

I want to be courted and I want to be wooed.

I dont want an arranged marriage. That would be "The Most Unromantic" thing on this planet. I cannot choose someone from looking at his picture or because his "family is good" or because he comes highly recommended. I cannot choose some man because he met me once and then he has to announce to his mommy and daddy whether he wants to continue to see me and decide "I am the one". I cant.... I just cant even bring myself to even imagine myself going through that. Oh the Horror!!


I always never wanted the above situation. But off late, my belief in romance has rooted itself firmly in me. I want Romance and in no circumstance am I ever going to not want it in my life. Being romanced or finding romance is not going to be my only maksath in life. But I know wants its presence. Someone to love.

I love old love songs especially... actually most old love songs.After many many times of listening. I understood that these song writers, wrote from their heart. They understood romance, they had it. Thats what made the song so beautiful, it was because not only did every word had meaning, but they sang it from being in love. And for the first time ever I wanted it. I wanted romance. I wanted to be in love.

Be in it so deeply that in the words of Abigail Adams "should I draw you the picture of my heart it would be what I hope you would still love though it contained nothing new. The early possession you obtained there, and the absolute power you have obtained over it, leaves not the smallest space unoccupied." or write what Elizabeth Baratte wrote " And now listen to me in turn. You have touched me more profoundly than I thought even you could have touched me - my heart was full when you came here today. Henceforward I am yours for everything...."


Ok so maybe that makes me a raving total looney or a bimbett or a bubble head. But I dont care. I want to walk on clouds(apparently thats the feeling when your in love).


I never liked the backstreet boys but their song Unmistakable is something which I have been singing "Will I know your voice when you havent said a word, how can I know a song that I have never heard" " "what if your here and I am just blind" "will you be the one I had in mind" "Will you be unmistakable".


To my guy-who ever you are, where ever you are.

It's a cruel game to play if you know me, know am the one and still havent made your move. But if you havent. Then its chill.. in perfect time I'll see you and hopefully you'll be unmistakable.

To Romance,

Come out, Come out, where ever you are.

XOXO

Sang

In Pain

Ever since I found self-waxing strips, I asked the questioned immediately after my first pull. Which is more painful self-inflicted pain or some one else causing you pain. I of course spent a good amount of paid time at work pondering this. Which would hurt more, if someone dug a grave and pushed me in, or I voluntarily jump into a man hole. Who would I hate more, me or the other person.

Well me de genius figured out a possible answer, that whether I hate the other person or hate myself , its a third party that eventually gets hurt(Unless I self mutilate, commit suicide or pop the other person's clogs)(Oh btw, all 3 too much of an effort, so gonna skip em all). Its this is poor unsuspecting third party that gets the backlash of my pain, through my words and actions.

Then the second question dawned which is worse, to be the receiver or giver of the backlash.

Normal people would not want to be the target of either of the above 2 questions and according to my sanity test on facebook I am perfectly sane.

If I am as sane facebook sacredly says I am then why do I do things that will eventually hurt me. Why do I do things, say things, get into things that down the line I will smack my head and wonder why I did or said such things. Its like am digging this huge grave and hoping no one (inclusive of self)will push me in. Like today New York times was nice enough to tell me that I am morbidly obese. Did I have to go read the health and nutrition section? Couldnt I have just skipped on over to the Joe Biden making a fool of himself section.

The only thing that saved me from plummeting to supremely bad body image day from slightly bad body image day, was that research has shown that once, your body has genetically defined how much you will weigh, any sort of compulsion to push it further up or further down, will be rejected by your brain, that is why for certain people, their weight loss is never permanent.

Or when I say something which I regret half hour later, some months later(at these times I wish my current self would run back in time and tell my past self to shudd uppp!!!)
This what you called Self infliction.

There this woman I know who insists on crapping all over my work life, cos her private life is worse than crap. This is known as Third party bashing.



Don't you feel that the pain existing in this world is just increasing as the days go by.

Is pain measurable.

Which pain is worse physical, emotional, mental, spiritual.

Is forgiving and healing the only way to get over pain?

Earth Hour

After reading every article on Hrithik Roshan's love affair with some Spanish dame and Lindsay Lohan's break up with her les love Samantha, I ran out of things to look up, and for some reason I got directed to a page on Earth Hour and kept getting re-directed to alike pages for half an hour(not complaining about the time that passed-very grateful for it!just why Earth Hour).

You know in India we have something really similar, its called Load Shedding!!!!!!!!! Every summer the country preserves its energy by cutting off power for 2-6 hours depending on where u live, nearer a politician then never, further you are longer the power cut. Our great nation's power guys will cut it off even when they see one drop of rain fall from the sky. Their logic is you dont need power to enjoy the rains or a drizzle so here enjoy the darkness and the mosquitoes. Cuddle up with your families in front of the mosquito coil.

See if everyone in the world followed that imagine the energy savings. I dint bother putting my lights out. Its like hitting yourself really hard. Why would I wanna do that when I have government that does that for me.

I read that because so many people across the world shut their power off, the world save that much energy that would have been used through out China for six seconds. Six seconds!!!!! the entire world plunged themselves into darkness for an hour to save energy for a country for SIX SECONDS!!!!!!............ Goes to show people will do anything for absolutely nothing

Everything is not perfectly everything

You know what so annoying about life, its that you cant have everything, which is so unfair. Whats wrong in getting everything that you want. Some people... ok ....just Me...... thinks that I deserve to have everything, I have been a very good person, and therefore I must be entitled to have everything. This does not make me a spoilt or an in grate . I want everything good in life not venus and mars to be perfectly aligned.

Fine..... fine if I cant have everything then Why oh way cant everything I have be perfect, maybe I can live without somethings,if what I already had was perfect. No flaws in anything that I had. I would be so perfectly content with the perfection of what I perfectly own.

If I can't have everything and everything I have isnt going to be perfect then...........................

Why cant I be perfect... and do things perfectly.. I hate making mistakes, especially when I have taken major efforts in not making mistakes, and then someone points out a mistake...... I wanna just scream....... actually just growl and give out a royal roar........ ofcourse I would rather turn back time not make the mistake and then I would be like you know.... happy. Why is that the harder I try for perfection the more mistakes I make. I wanna just kick myself. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR................ .............. Why cant I do things perfectly.....................why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why............. Times like these I wish the earth would open up and swallow me.
You learn only thru mistakes... people tell me ... bah!! I say............................ The only thing ve learnt... is that I cant do anything right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Cant have everything......
Cant have perfection......
Cant be perfect......

Oh beautiful life.................................. I thinketh that it is the pursuit that makes it beautiful........ If it so-eth... I think I will screameth.

Sane warped people

I have met a few people who read but I cant say that they are well read people, which is strange as they have read all the great classics and all the "must reads" of books of our time or they have read all the intellectual books . But the knowledge and finesse doesn't stream out of them as it should be. The reason behind this is that either they have not imbibed the book and sought to understand the author's writing and were unable to form an insightful opinion. The other type of read but not well read are those that they have read so many intellectual books which they have not fully understood (but they live in the illusion that they have), they take that and mix it with their own thought off warped philosophy and attempt an opinion which sounds to philosophically pretentious to me.

The later is what happens when people have no strong believes in one thing which will steady their thought life. When people know themselves and know what they believe in then,when reading other people's philosophies they will have the option to reject or accept. But when one is unsure of who they are or what they believe in or what they are looking for, they tend not to take the philosophy as a whole, just take what they like to hear. All that plus their own philosophy adds up to their warped thinking.

Sane as these people are in all medical terms, in terms of what is right and wrong (socially and morally) they are idiot savants. How can one help correct this. Is it a possibility? They live in the illusion of their own so called "great thinking and philosophy" and it is so subtle it has hard to point it out. One has to listen to them speak alot to realise that their thinking is "a little crrraaazy". A good part of me thinks that one can never tell a sane warped person that they are what they are because they have lived in that so called "intellectual bubble" for so long that they will not like it if you start poking it. They also are very defensive about their philosophies they have absolute conviction in their made up believes. I understand their defense, its because they are scared that we sane non warped people will tell them something that will shatter their bubble and they will have to face REAL life philosphies.

If you ever meet a sane warped person, all you can do is pray for them or run away from them.


OH BTW, previous blog got deleted, cos it was baring too much of my soul.

Still........... Rapid

Still waters run deep........ well everyone in my family I assure you is everything but still. Noise is the order of the house, mom's yelling, dad's cricket, my music. Even when we are not contributing to our respective noises, we still are so noisy, we talk loud and we all talk too much. So according to the old saying "still waters run deep" we are completely superficial people. But my observation of noisy waters and still waters contradicts the old saying. Still waters maybe deep but they are very murky, and the chances of them become full of algae, fungi and bacteria are quite high.

Thats the danger with quiet people(those non talkative), they are so to themselves, that its difficult to know whats infesting in them, it maybe bitterness, anger, spite... all these infestations just grow and grow. And when they do something everyone is so shocked, "they cannot believe that person did such an such thing.... she/he was always a quite being",,,, I have known at least 5 really "quite" people and they have all turned around and have done something so outrageous that people till today talk about it. Thats the thing with noisy people you always know whats going on with them, you know how deep and wide they are and you know their potential, you know how they are going to react.

Rapid waters excite, they challenge the one that decides to test them, people who ride through waters, first must be able to handle the speed and then all the obstacles of huge boulders, sharp turns, sudden falls. Some of the best fish are breed in rapid waters,

Still waters petrify me, its as silent as the grave, when the storm comes,deeper the waters higher and rougher are the waves. They are more prone to dirt and god alone knows how many once alive things have been thrown in there...eeeyuck, I think still waters are deeply troubled.

Question 1.... still or not to be still.........

Question 2... Rapid waters with a still heart or could it be vice a versa ?????????

Adrenaline without the rush

There is a song called Sandstorm... well its not actually a song... its more of a musical composition as there are no words. The composition is a rave party favorite. The music is so fast, its difficult to dance to such a number, but it is widely loved as people can feel their adrenaline levels rising just by listening to it. Whenever I listen to that and feel the music in me, its an awesome feeling, but.. the thing with adrenaline is that you will enjoy it when you are actually doing something that is that fast. If you experience adrenaline and if your just sitting in front of a computer you are going to get very frustrated. I tried imagining that am running, or driving real fast,or doing something that can match the speed, but I couldnt. The song is just too fast. I love that song but it frustrates me too much.

Suddenly I dont know why, maybe I am completely wrong .... but I dont care..... It kinda makes me think that thats how I am perceiving my life, I feel like what I am seeing and perceiving of life is that the speed of it is so fast, and I can feel it and I love it and I want to be apart of that mad rush but I am not and thats whats frustrating me. Its the rush without the rush. Everything is moving so fast and you can get things fast but its not the important things. Life things that are important like, success, goals, dreams.... stuff like that takes forever. Thats the reasons for anger and frustration, we can see life whizzing by us in fifth gear and we are stuck in second gear.

I rarely listen to Sandstorm, cos it causes what I call musical frustration, when you know what you want to listen too but cant get the right track. It just so pisses me off. Again its kind of whats happening now, I know what I want, I know my destination, I have the will, I have my dream and I have my goal but I cant see how I am going to get there. I hate those think positive books (written by authors that committed suicide), I tried it all, and when you think positive and you do the envisioning and planning and stuff and it doesnt happen, then its like the castles in the air that you built come crashing down on you like lead bricks. Then what!!!!!!!!!

Guard

I have a line written on my pin up board which says "There is folly in many words", I put it up after hearing my dad lecture my sister on all the drama that she had been causing(her story long story.. not now). I thought I about that line and thought how apt that line is for me, I sometimes wear my heart on my sleeve, which is stupid as in my head I keep thinking that I have my guards up. But the fact is that unknowingly I say something and as soon as I say it, I think "Shit!!!did I just give a bit of heart away?" and regret follows and every time something like that happens all I do is hope and pray that what I let out wont come back to spear me.

How does one know who to trust? what to trust them with, and how much to trust them with, your heart and your life.

I used to write all my emotions on a piece of paper, whether I was really happy or sad or felt very driven, after writing, I suddenly felt a strong sense of bond with that piece of paper, I would never want to let it go as I would have written my heart on it. Time passes and the paper is tossed into other piles of paper into some file. At some later point when I find it, a healing memory comes over me. It struck me that if I can feel so attached to a paper, then how much more a person, if I let my guard down and give my heart away, and if that person throws it back at my face, oh man imagine the pain. Thankfully that hasnt happened yet. But a lil bits of who I am and what are my heart's desires have been let out.

Two statements floating in my head " Everyone is a potential Backstabber" and "There is folly in many words"

I think.......... No actually............ I KNOW............ that.........

Now!!!!! its mouth shut and guards up.

23

I turned 23.Everything seems so far and near. Which is soooo weird.

King David said "All of mankind lies", they did then and they still do now.

Man!!! am a cynic or what........